Single parenthood is fine and dandy

15 Jun

After my son was born my husband became verbally abusive towards me on an almost-daily basis. After much heartbreak and anguish I called it quits in April, when my son was 13 months old. I was really nervous about being a single mother, as I felt dependent on my husband for the things he did with parenting and around the house.

But I’ve been living by myself (with my son, of course) for almost a month now and I am loving it. I didn’t realise how heavy the burden of my miserable marriage was, and what a strain it was for me to function normally. (I did, but it was a lot of work!) So now that weight is off my shoulders, everything feels easier.

Yes, there are times when I wish there was someone else to take the rubbish out, do the dishes, play with the toddler, get him to sleep, pay the bills, work alongside, give me a cuddle at the end of the day, etc., but I am coping just fine. And I have more emotional and physical energy to put more time and effort into my son and everything else. So I am finding single parenting much more positive than I thought it would be. My son still gets to see his Dad a few times a week and that’s good. I never wanted to deprive him of his father, I just refused to model a dysfunctional relationship for him, and put myself through more misery for the sake of an ideal.*

Even better, I am feeling so empowered. I can do it all by myself.** It’s not that I don’t miss having a loving relationship, I do. But I definitely don’t miss having a crappy relationship. Being a single mum ain’t so bad after all.

*Yes, it is best for children to have both parents in a loving relationship. Oh, how I wanted that! 

*Fundamentally, I disagree with anyone doing anything all by themselves. Except maybe tying your shoelaces. But it feels good to know that I can. Hear me roar, and all that. 

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